Fantasy

Have I been fantasizing a lot lately? Been waiting for that 'magic', that 'spark' to strike me! Too much fantasy may be delusional but bits of fantasy is nice. They make  a perky company! I am not giving up fantasizing, nope buddy! I'll keep floating in this small world of mine for as long as I'd like to, but this time around with a touch of change :).  

The Deadline's Way!

Why does this happen every-time the renewed deadline is round the corner? The routine work turns into a race against time. This rush does not have a good feeling to it. I'd rather like to take it nice and slow (Yes, I recognize how much slow it has been already). A wave of fatigue creeps in out-of-nowhere, placing you in an awkward position. And you are perturbed by this dislocation. Are these deadline jitters? Um, No, I guess these our 'hell-no-look-at-the-long-list-of-pending-chores' jitters. 10th October, 2011 is going to be a 'big day', I hope this would be the 'this is it' day too ;).

P.S I owe this blog and myself a myriad of new perky entries, post 10th Oct, 2011 ofcourse ;).  

The SHOW Time!

It is already 'fall' in the western part of the world - the time of the year when all the good TV shows are renewed for a new season. And according to my info, all my favorite shows have already premiered..Yayeee! But I dare not to sneak a glimpse of any of those before the submission of my thesis. Because man! they are addictive. And I would not like to ruin their fun with a sword dangling over my head. I am so looking forward to the marathon of shows! ;)

Words of The Wise - 1!

Life is about falling – Living is about getting backup ~ Anonymous!

Tick, Tick, Tick!

                       At this point, I feel like the time has assumed a 'split' character. On one hand, it is passing by rather naturally in its usual cycle of days and nights with the occasional feelings of it being 'stucked', since it has been long and I might say looong since I have been working on this project of mine which seems endless. While, on the other hand, it seems that the time is flying away. The deadline approaches in a time of less than a week and still there is heaps of work pending. It is getting a teeny bit annoying now considering my passion and excitement at the beginning of this project. The passion did not fade until there was a deadline staring at my face :D.I am looking forward to 'that' time when I'll be actually standing with the product of my toil in my hands, while flipping through the pages of my 'completed work'. There is so much to do, so many things that I shoved in the corner just to get this thing done. I am waiting for that time, eagerly!

FRIENDS -An Inspiration!

It takes three back to back episodes of 'FRIENDS' to reassemble the dispersed specks of dynamism and kick myself back into action. Not a bad deal, eh? Except for a few hundred minutes that are sent down the road to constitute a minuscule part of history in the process :D.

Even though I can go on ranting about the brilliance of the show, yet I believe I have a meaningful business to attend to at this very moment which seems to have placed a constrain on the extravagant use of my time :D. Still, I believe I can afford to exploit a few milliseconds of this precious hour to compliment the ingenious lyrics of the theme song of the show. It maybe merely my taste or a genuine stroke of competence that has compelled me to develop an unmistakable likeness for them . These lyrics, so aptly, highlight the element of humor that the dark aspects of our lives withhold while reflecting the significance of genuine friends in one's life. I can go on writing untiringly on the subject matter, but let's leave it for some other time :). Till then, enjoy the lyrics:

So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.

You're still in bed at ten, the work began at eight.
You've burned your breakfast, so far, things are going great.
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these,
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees.

That, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.

No one could ever know me, no one could ever see me.
Seems like you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me.
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with,
Someone I'll always laugh with, even at my worst, I'm best with you.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too

The way it is!

It's alright! I like the way it hurts!

Someday!

Some day I am going to take that risk, someday I am going to wake-up to that feeling.And that someday, my friend, isn't far-away! :)

World's oldest Story!

She was a damsel in distress. He was the darling of the crowd. Period!

Fallacy!

      Sometimes you feel like you could really use a friend right at that moment. After all, that is what friends are for. Right? Or maybe not! People say while our bloodline is only a matter of fate, we are at least at a liberty to choose friends of our own liking. Well, if you have good friends then maybe this philosophy is for you. Otherwise, you are in for a rebellion. I can frequently be found quoting that life has no hard and fast rules, hence generalizing a philosophy may be attributed to a fallacy on our part, in fact in my humble opinion, a lack of creativity. We are so used to of believing what people have said or done in the past that raising an objection or a contradictory opinion on a primitive thought is considered to be an action as repulsive as violation of some invisible boundaries. The hollowness of this primitive philosophy of being the 'chief selector' of your most cheered allies lies in the very fact that no-one wishes to bring unto him an uninvited set of problems, and a gang of uncomplimentary chums can be, well quite a nuisance, to say the least. So, how many times will you continue to make 'bad' choices? Or lets just say 'inappropriate'? For how long will man continue to worship his own inadequate faculties before accepting the supremacy of nature? For how long will we continue fooling ourselves in thinking that we are the master of our own fate? Why, one of chief requirements of human psychology is the feeling of being powerful? We can still dig deep, achieve our dreams and most of all, be happy without feeding our hunger of power! 
       You can either fret for staying in power with the ticking of the clock for the rest of your life or just let the river run its course and surprise you (no guarantee for the surprises to be good or bad :D); there is always a choice!

To the Reality!

         We spend a lifetime in brooding over that perfect dress we couldn't buy, the perfect career we couldn't acquire or the perfect life that we couldn't live; yet never in the midst of this lamenting course do we ever realize how much blessed we are! Yeah, yeah, all that cliched stuff pertaining to some basic facts of life. Something on the lines of , if you have all your body parts functional, have adequate clothes on your body, enough food in your stomach and a roof over your head; you are one blessed individual. And if you don't suffer from a disease, you are even much more blessed.  Sounds familiar? Such assurances, at a time of crisis, seem to be mere desperate attempts of your well-wisher to cheer you up. These cliches, as a matter of fact, are outdated, stale and sold-out yet a reality! My intention in no way is to profess for a simple living because in all honesty, I myself am a backer of this fantasy-laden larger-than-life-style, yet time and again I have been reminded of the amateurishness of my outlandish fantasies for I have seen myriad of old feeble men battling against the cold winds or sweltering weather, on the signals of Lahore, in their pursuit to save their honor while carrying a bunch of things of everyday use to sell . It takes no degree-holder mathematician to hypothesize that even if they manage to sell all of their goods that very night, it would still not be enough to buy a decent meal for themselves and their families. The memory of many such old men, women and children is etched on my mind. And no I am no Hatham Tai nor even an ordinary philanthropist, hence everywhere I go, I am chaperoned by a heart that has given way to guilt and dissatisfied conscience on my own failings to become a better being. I am very ordinary in terms of my mental faculty; all that glitters may not be gold but all that glitters attract me. To adorn myself  from head to toe, I have enough! However, while spending on the poor, I am down-and-out myself! I wish to help those downtrodden beings who carry as much right to live as we do. What is worth of a degree and a social-status that is devoid of a guilt-less conscience? To the world, I confess of my materialistic side. I concede the fact that some of my afflictions in the past have merely been shallow in nature yet their impacts were deep enough. My afflictions had nothing to do with money or poverty yet today I find them to be as superficial as money. But to err is human and I am only in the learning phase. And corresponding to a mind that weaves bizarre, wild fantasies; there is a tender-heart that is receptive to the delicacy of reality, ready to foster a change!

Start Over New!

I've found out the motivation for me
To push against the walls and break free,
A reason to start over New
A reason to do that I always wanted to!

(A Play on Hoobastank's 'The Reason')

Somewhere I belong!

In the touch of soft breeze, in the charm of fluttering hair, in the brightness of slight but meaningful smile, in the pounding of harmonized heartbeat, in the calmness of soothing symphonies, in the moment of whispering words, in the pleasure of long walks, in the fluidity of fantasies, in the instant of spontaneous laughters, in the passion of intense human emotions, in the reliability of a trusted friend, in the lingering moments of mesmerizing silence, in the strength of faith, in the beautiful realization of being understood, in the running stream of words, in the materialization of dreams, in the fits of that 'high'-feeling, in the decency of sensibility, in the mischief of the funnier side, in the stillness of smiling pictures and in the anticipation of sweet serendipity ; THAT is where I have always lived and where I belong . Never did I belong to this world! And never will I give up on my pursuit of finding ‘that’ world, because that is where my strings are attached, where I’ll be an instant fit and where not half, but the whole of my heart will be in absolute harmony !  

A Mosaic of Thoughts!

         Reality never has a smooth landing; it always comes crashing into you. C-R-A-S-H! To your chagrin; you come clattering down and explode. Once the flames diffuse, your life becomes sheathed by a meaningless, blinding, thick black smoke which scraps, out of your system, even the last few specks of life which had sought refuge in your body and squashes every last joule of energy bubbling in the compartments of your heart. And the visions of each time it had happened before; flash before your eyes. The thing with these crashing chapters is that you   can never get immune to them, NEVER. No matter how much ‘strong’ life may seem to engineer you through its afflictions and suffering; the truth is, that soft organ buried underneath your chest, which keeps drumming to the symphonies of the sullen and sombre, will break each time you come crashing down. With each fresh wound, the pain will intensify. And even with all your money, you’ll be the feeble grieving old man out on the street on the eve of bone-chilling winter.  

 They say if you can accept rejection and reject acceptance, then there is nothing you cannot do. Given that I have had been at both ends, this really puts me in a good place. However, rules were never made for life. They are made for us, the remorseful victims of time and all that lies within, to keep us hooked under the false illusion that a series of regimented and ceremonial words has the smashing ability to sketch the portrait of THE life on the canvas of time that we all have been painting in our minds.

     Winning feels good, it makes you feel like flying even with no wings attached. It instigates you to fall in love, with yourself and with those around you because winning paints such a pretty picture of life that its ugliness silently slips and goes on to wait in a dark, quiet corner. And then you win and win and keep wining, until it becomes a habit. The thoughts that previously dangled between ‘Can I?’ or ‘Will ever I?’ then switch to more domineering ones, ‘How can I not?’ and ‘Why won’t I? It takes you farther from being natural, stealing your asset of humility. And then even wining loses its ability to charm you and you venture out in the pursuit of something new in life.

Failures don’t feel good, at least in the beginning. Then you make peace with them until the monsters of your ordinary-ness come back to haunt you. It is a kind of peace that is achieved after wars; settling with whatever that is left and in whatever condition it is.

          And this is how life continues!

Richly Blessed!

I read this somewhere and found it worth remembering and sharing. Here it is!

• I asked God for strength that I might achieve, I was made weak that I might learn to obey.
• I asked for health that I might do great things; I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
• I asked for riches that I might be happy; I was given poverty that I might be wise.
• I asked for power when I was young that I might have the praise of men; I was given weakness that I might feel the need for God.
• I asked for all things that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
• Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

BRING IT ON!

Let it be! Let the insensitivity dance naked in the streets of misery. Let the vexing shallow entities sing loud. Let the show of the hoggish and the narcissistic go on. Let the goodness be chewed in the mouth of the ungrateful and then spitted out. Let the appreciation go unnoticed. Let it be as good as it gets. Let the glass crack and the bubbles burst. Let the dancers tap their feet to the wrong beat. Let the clouds of uncertainty hover. Just LET THAT BE!

But when the sensitivity is challenged by insensitivity, don't retreat! When the songs of the shallow get louder, don't submit. When the hoggish and the narcissistic explode, don't surrender! When the goodness is thrown away, don't despair! When the appreciation goes unnoticed, don't grieve. When it is as good as it gets, don't surrender! When the glasses shatter and the bubbles burst, don't renounce! Sometimes, let it go. Sometimes, blow off your steam! Either way let that be and give a damn! DUH

Take over the cockpit of your life and drive it to insane altitudes. As far as they are concerned, kick them out of the cockpit :D!

Release Me!

Tired of shallowness and hollowness prevalent in the ambiance! A case of dampening friction, it is. The horizon of the world was never so confining. Where is THE gang? The winds must change their direction now. There is only a fine line between happening days and days happening (May All praise be to Almighty Allah:).

These faces and places are getting older and shallower!

A case of Sweet Serendipity!

One day, sometime in the distant past, I realized the intense craving of 'randomness' inside me. The case where destiny leads you to some place where, despite of the luck going wrong and regardless of the briefness of the stay; you earn an entirely new perspective of life! Those perceptions of yours, that you clung to so hard, in the pursuit of your dream world often seem so meaningless. You get introduced to the greatness of characters, courage of the weak and the power of seemingly ordinary people. You realize that the life they are leading is THE life and not the life that you live, a dream. Such episodes define a case of sweet serendipity. And without serendipity, life would have been utterly boring.

Your plans will seldom follow through. And even when they do, they'll never occur in the version that you contemplated. Serendipity comes, when you least expect to! Places may seem ordinary and people, exhausted - but the beauty in your eye extracts the best out of them! And your life changes, not in a grand, exclusive manner but in a gradual, step-by-step fashion! Those places, things and people may banish from your life for once and all, but they always stay in a tiny corner of your cerebrum. You may never earn a chance to express your gratitude to them for showing you light at the end of tunnel and this thought might make you glum at times, but the truth is, you'd never be able to stop relishing the joy that you borrowed from them!

Had it not been for these serendipity episodes, what would have we done? What would have I done? May these happen more frequently!

Needless to say, Life would keep yielding reasons to make us more down-to-earth, complacent and above all, a better being!

But for now,

Dear Life, I am enchanted to meet you! :)

From Paulo Coelho's blog; 1 min reading: Killing our dreams

The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons

When Sports get Spicier than Life!

If you love to be in the spotlight, If you wish to feel how does it feel to be "The One", If you can sustain pressure of the two extremes, If you can risk yourself everytime, If you enjoy getting through at the last moment, If you can turn down dejection as smoothly as you can accept Win and STILL you never regret being a part of it; you know that you are a sportsman/woman :). And if you don't share any of the above mentioned interests rather enjoy to sit back on your comfy sofa while cheering a match, well in that case, you are a sports freak. Either way, you are' a part of this sensational world that goes by the name of 'sports'. If you have never tried playing a game, you might consider trying your hands at one because the experience is simply epic; liberating and larger than life!

We may like to deceive us into thinking that the canvas of sports is limited merely to 'games'; nothing more, nothing less. But this is a sheer understatement! All around the world, sports fields have been transformed into battle fields. The wars that were previously fought at the borders have been shifted to the play grounds. People are ready to give up life or death for the sake of winning. Without dwelling into formal details, I'll skip directly to the day of THE match. 30th March, 2011, was the day, when the dispersed beads of a mala were eventually inter weaved along the same string. The anticipation of this day re-kindled life into the carcass of a rather mundane society. The society that is used to of corrupt politics, aggrandizing inflation and bad news only. It was the day when Pakistan cricket team had to come face-to-face with arch rival India in a cricketing battlefield , competing for a place in the World Cup grand finale 2011. Cricket fever stretched across the entire nation like an epidemic. A sense of unity bonded the variant genres of people, penetrating through various strata of the society. The OMG struck 'burger' brand, the festive 'bun kabab' family and the richest and the poorest; all gathered on a single platform, on the same time and for the same reason. For the first time, Pathans did not differ from Punjabis, or Punjabis from Balochis; as they all rooted for Pakistan's victory. For the first time, Peshawar didn't have to march to a different drummer to step one ahead from the rest of the nation. And for the first time, the entire nation had tuned into the same channel, tinted with the hues of unifying green. There was enthusiasm and happiness in the air. It seemed as if every Pakistani had suddenly found a reason to live. The streets reverberated with the screams of excitement each down an Indian player took to home and a mutual 'Owww' hummed across the neighborhood each time Pakistan suffered through a blow. It was magical! As this piece is being written, I can already sense a slight acceleration in my heart-beat. Yes! I loved the vivacity that surrounded us all, the frenzy that had put the heart-beats of millions of Pakistanis in sync and a sudden bolt of energy that made us forget all our miseries,at least for sometime. Sometimes it is not the destination, but the journey that matters the most. To us, World Cup 2011 exemplifies just the same. Even though the loss camouflaged much of the excitement, yet this episode of awe and ecstasy shall never be forgotten. We couldn't re-write history, but we sure made one!

The match ignited people's otherwise turned cold patriotism for Pakistan. Among all the days spent in cursing the inadequacies of Pakistan, it was the day for the revival of vows, to Pakistan. It was the day when people nurtured pure emotions for their fellow-Pakistanis. Which single event in the past was able to achieve all this? Needless to say 'none'. Pakistan may have failed at the match but they didn't fail at the spirit of the match. Hence, the mission has been achieved!

It is often said that worldly love is selfish. For the most part, it might be. But it is hard to label what, we as a nation, felt for the Green Team, that day.As for me, I wanted them to win; to win for Pakistan, for themselves and, for myself! Why, What, For myself? Does it make sense? I hardly care even if it doesn't. Sometimes, we love someone hard enough just in the effort of loving ourselves. Sometimes we feel inclined to protect someone desperately ignorant of the fact that somewhere down the line, it is for ourselves, that we seek protection. Sometimes we find the meaning of our life in others' life. And sometimes we live our lost dreams in the realization of others' dreams. And ladies and gentlemen, WC 2011 semi-final between Pakistan and India was my that 'sometime'. I wanted them to win to compensate for all my defeats, to re-write history which I couldn't write for myself, to charge up the adrenaline rush that I couldn't and to realize that one big dream, which continues to be just a dream for me! Yes! I wanted them to WIN in return for all my losses. But as they lost, I don't feel lost once again! Because they lost with dignity and grace. And I feel graceful! If Shahid Afridi can pat Tendulkar's back after his four times escape from a walk back to pavilion, if he can keep his cool amid all the misfields and still, manages to face the world and 'apologize' to the entire nation for the bad-luck of his team, all I feel is INSPIRATION! The Green Team reminded me of the 12 year old me, who was a cricket fanatic and celebrated each and every moment of th 1999 world cup (spare the final :D) with equivalent vigor. The once me, who had all her arms open, to embrace the world. They reminded me of the wild excitement that gave me high and of the reserves of energy, I still happen to own. Hence, I go back to life and live the inspiration; my team, my captain has lent me. Defeat is as much as a part of the game, as winning, and who would know it better than me? This is another aspect which makes the Green Team most relatable to me. For what it is worth, I'll let the journey matter to me the most than the destination. Thank You Almighty Allah for having us have this episode, for bonding us this way and for giving us a reason to smile. Don't you feel, our lives got a wee bit spicier?

It is a Beautiful Day!

Today, as soon as I gained consciousness from a brief interval of sleep and waited for my desperate-for-some-more-sleep eyes to settle to the half done morning, I set out to greet the day in a rather usual manner, not realizing what a beautiful day awaited me; fresh, crisp and vivacious! Watching the delicate, frail roots dancing merrily while prompting the crackling leaves to bounce all around, my joy was conspicuous enough to jeopardize each attempt aimed at concealing it, let alone holding back the smile that never abandoned the corner of my lips. Regardless of how others are affected by this weather pattern, I am more than conscious of the inspiration such a lovely weather lends me. While most of the 'One fine mornings' may not be a life-turner, one of these fine mornings surely will make you land you at a door, that will escort you to another world! And despite of the misery walking naked along the roadsides, feebleness collapsed dismally at each corner of the street and deprivation wondering aimlessly in the veins of millions; you believe that 'one-day', the world will be at peace. Oh yes, I often use 'one day' in my conversation. It gives a subtle closure to things, you aren't ready to let go or even to hold on to. For instance, there are so many things I wish to pursue in my life before I depart, and they all are on hold, on the 'one-day' stand! They keep me company on the bumpy rides in the scorching heat and they are even there, with me , when I am trudging on a smooth terrain on a beautiful day such as today. And they look good there, at least for now!