A Monologue!

Sometimes I think I have suffered enough and it's time for me to win. But apparently that's not the case! This is a long journey and the battle is only half-fought, let alone won. When will the time come when my turbulent ship will dock at the harbor of peace and contentment? Will it even ever dock, for that matter? It’s all painted gray. Contradiction, guilt trips and an elusive imagination! Life’s driving me down the road and I am blindfolded. All I know is, this too I shall survive (InshaAllah). But for once, I don’t want to survive through things, I want to LIVE through them, just once! Not to be fooled by words or the looks of things anymore. I don’t want to roam around anymore, or maybe I want to, not just in the same old streets. See, I told you, contradictions!

Things don’t really change, do they? They only transform, from one form to another, at least that’s what happens in the lives of underprivileged, luckless and ordinary men! Their dreams become a reality for others, and others’ fears, their reality! But then you can have a pocket full of bucks and a hunger satiated with sumptuous food, and still you wander on empty roads reflecting on why things are the way they are! You can stuff yourself with all the sophistication and live-heartedness, and still find yourself bowled up in a corner of your room.  You may ramble on incessantly and laugh out audaciously in a crowd, but save up eruption of the boiling matter for private moments. You may think you are good enough, but you may not feel that way. You may consider that one stroke of yours is near-perfection, but you may not receive any such results.

Just remember, you suffer alone and you only celebrate in a crowd. And that you can’t fight against your fate!